


Our Bodies Pressed Tight

by Jae_O_Rae



Category: Breaking Bad
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, First Time, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Original Character(s), Protective!Walter, hurt!Jesse, protective!Mike
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-17
Updated: 2015-02-03
Packaged: 2018-03-07 21:25:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3183707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jae_O_Rae/pseuds/Jae_O_Rae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was just for entertainment. But not for Jesse or Walt. Warning: Fairly explicit content ensues</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Be cautious of Who you let in

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was just for entertainment. But not for Jesse or Walt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just need to write this out of my head. Unbeta'd. R&R loved~

“Yo….what’s up, Mr. White?” Jesse opens the door just enough to make out his old teacher’s face. He wasn’t in the mood to exactly see him. Especially with the look on his face that spelt doom and gloom.

Walt tightens his lip almost as if trying to stop himself from saying something secret. Some dark secrets. His eyes are so sad as they droop down. 

“Jesse.” He barely says with a gruff voice. 

A flash of confusion plays on Jesse’s face, knitting his eyebrows closer and his sharp blue eyes questioning. 

“You alright yo? What’s happen—“ the door slams back into his face with his body stumbling backwards until he eventual stops on the bar of his couch. Bewildered, Jesse covers his bleeding brow as he shoots his sight to the intrusion. Three unknown bulky Hispanic-looking men and Mr. White are making their way into his house.

Walt has his hands behind his back, cuffed, and a gun pressed against his head. 

“Christ,” Jesse chokes removing his bloody hand from his bloody face. He stays really still gripping the couch as the last man closes and locks the door behind him. 

The man maneuvering Walt pushes him down to the ground in front of the towering speaker. Walt’s eyes remain on Jesse and the one of the men standing smug.

“Now we wait,” the man says with his own gun hanging in his hand. 

Jesse spares a glance at the man next to him afraid to ask: “What the heck we waitin’ for…” Jesses mouth snaps shut. Did he just say that aloud? “Jus’ wonderin’.” He quickly adds.

All three of the intruders look seriously pissed. Then the only one speaking started to laugh a little then a lot. The other two remain silent. Not sure if he gets the joke, Jesse sort of grimace-smiles in his confusion towards Walt than back at the whack job.

Just then he gets punched hard, riling and tripping on the couch leg and down to the wooden ground in front of Walt. Not this again.

“Ugh,” Jesse stays put on the ground with his mouth bleeding. 

“Gustavo. I’m sure you’re familiar. He owes us and we know you’re cooking for him.” The man explains shortly.

“You really think we want to be working with Gus?” Walt argues putting on his Heisenberg face. Deep dark lines run through his eyes and cheeks, “We’ve been trying to get out. I’m sure there is something to work out.”

The man scoffs, “Maybe true, but you are still his investments. I’m sure he’ll want to prevent from damaging his goods.” He gives a swift kick to Jesse’s midsection. Jesse curls in more on himself. 

A phone vibration echoes in the large room. The main speaker pulls out his cell and flips it open. “Gustavo. I hope you remember who I am.”

The mans eyes narrow in distaste, “Maybe this will jog your memory-- Camellia.” He lets out a breathy laugh, “that’s right. It’s Alejandro. I’m having a good time with your two cooks.”

There’s a pause where Walt and Jesse lock eyes. Its just one thing after the next.

“Don’t worry, we’ll keep your partners company. You’ll receive a visitor and you should listen to everything he tells you. See you soon, Gustavo.”

And with that the phone snaps shut. Alejandro is a mix between inner anger and self-pleased.

By now Jesse has had time to recuperate and prop himself to an upright sitting position. He rakes his hands through his hair and looks across to Walt for the millionth time wondering how they were going to get out of this one. 

Heavy boots slowly and firmly plant their feet next to Jesse. Jesse closes his eyes and then gradually lifts his gaze to Alejandro. Why was it always him? Christ. 

“Stand up.” 

“Could you leave him alone? We can’t sit here and wait like gentlemen?” Walt huffs a little annoyed sounding, but mainly just trying to get Alejandro off Jesse’s ass. 

“Stand up.” Alejandro says more firmly. Jesse bows his head begrudgingly before he cautiously plants his feet below and pushes himself up. Nervously he clenches and releases his hands hyping himself up to defend himself any minute.

Alejandro slaps his hand onto Jesse’s shoulder and pulls him into his side in a mockingly friendly gesture, “and Gentlemen we are.” He looks between all the men in the room and then he brings his gaze back towards Jesse who tries to pull away from the man’s grip and close proximity. “Gentlemen need entertainment.”

Jesse looks utterly dumbfounded and his stomach is sinking so fast so hard before his mind can even register the hint of something sinister in that statement. 

“What...?” Jesse says disgusted. Before he knows it the room is spinning. Alejandro grabs onto his shirt and sweeps Jesse’s feet off the ground then slams him down into the wood. Jesse’s head knocks into Walter’s knee.

The wind is knocked out of him, but Jesse is shoving back against the figure pinning him down. He feels like he’s in 8th grade again when Joey Manning bullied him and beat him down in the schoolyard. People watching and not helping. Spectators.

Mr. White is yelling and barking orders that he has no power to enforce. “You get off him!” He’s still restrained and held in place by Stiff Uno and Dos.

Alejandro presses his fist wrapped up in Jesse’s shirt down into the centre of Jesse’s chest. His other hand rips at Jesse’s button and fly, but it proves ineffective since the body is squirming every direction.

“No no no no! NO!” Jesse is growling and pleading deep in his throat. But he has no say. He’s just being pushed over again.

Alejandro becomes frustrated. He lifts Jesse by his shirt and slams down and repeats. He makes sure Jesse is dazed just enough to undo the offending button and fly, slide down the rough denim, and secure his position by straddling him. 

Walt can’t believe what he’s witnessing here and what he’s about to witness. His mouth is in constant disarray of opening and dropping unsure what he could say to stop the man. Jesse’s head is literally in between his knees touching his kneecaps. He’s so close, but so helpless. He can feel the statue behind him holding the gun nicely in line with his head.

Jesse’s pleading eyes flash up to Walter. It’s an awful pit of terror that settles inside his chest.

Jesse’s eyes widen and tear away when he feels his boxer being yanked down. “NO! Don’t-“ One of his hands reaches down to pull them back up and the other lifts and pushes his body back. 

The back of his neck meets Walt’s chest and he can’t move back any further. Alejandro slides his boxers down until they stay hooked around one of Jesse’s foot. He lifts Jesse’s thighs atop his and moves in closer.

“Nnnho! Fucking no you-“ the hand shoots fast around his neck squeezing. Jesse’s hands react by flying up to pry the vise like grip off. 

Alejandro undoes his pants with his other hand and shimmies out of them until he’s exposed. Immediately after removing his hand from the young man’s throat he punches him in the face.

“Didn’t plan it to be so snug,” Alejandro says to Walt with a malicious smile. “Well snug here,” he roams his eyes suggestively down Jesse. 

Jesse’s eyes slam shut. He attempts to level and calm his voice, “Please don’t do this. I-I can pay you or something. Just….not this yo.” He swallows thickly and opens his crystal blue eyes to see how the man would react. 

“Money.” Alejandro leans in and breaths Jesse’s scent in deeply, “Money doesn’t satisfy all pleasures.”

Jesse chokes on his sob and renews his useless struggles. He feels his head rolling against Mr. White’s chest and his elbows are locked with his hands pressing against Alejandro’s shoulders. 

His eyes scan down and spot Alejandro’s erection sky high and ready for action. He groans and sobs in between his clenched teeth. Without sparing any more time, Alejandro is lining himself up and he thrusts forward with one flesh tearing movement. 

At first Jesse feels like he’s being strangled again because he can’t breathe for shit. Then a terrible yell erupts from his chest as his body spasms into Mr. White. Tears swell and drop down his face one after the other. Most of the tears soak into Mr. White shirt.

Just as soon as Jesse is breached, the member retreats to slam back in with reverberating force. Jesse no longer attempts to push back on Alejandro because it feels utterly useless. Instead he holds on for dear life. His hands fist into tight twirls on Mr. Whites shirt. He probably is grabbing onto the flesh beneath. If he is, Mr. White isn’t complaining.

Instead Walt’s head hangs forward trying to cradle Jesse within his body wishing he could protect him. “I’m so sorry. Jesse, I’m so sorry.” He whispers repeatedly near Jesse who is sobbing and yelling at every torturous thrust.

“So good, you’re are so fucking good. Tight, hot, beautiful bitch.” Alejandro’s eyes flutter in pleasure as he brutally assaults Jesse.

Walt winces and grinds his teeth. He will kill this animal – this pig. How dare he do this to Jesse. His Jesse. Walt’s heart pangs with the statement. Jesse doesn’t belong to anyone, but surely Walt was the only one who stuck around to care about him. 

Another agonizing thrust stretches him past him limit and Jesse yells with a jolt. Their heads knock together, it isn’t painful, but their heads stay glued like that. Together. Jesse’s neck is arched to an angle that rubs his chin against Mr. White’s cheek.  
Jesse’s pained panting heats up Walt’s ear and sends shivers down his spine. He swallows hard. 

“Mr. White…” Jesse barely rasps and Walt is pretty sure he’s the only one who heard it. Alejandro grunts wildly and the two behind him are emotionless droids. 

Alejandro changes his angle, squeezing Jesse’s thighs farther apart, and Jesse moans a full, deep throaty moan. And immediately after he sobs. Alejandro hits that responsive area again and Jesse is pressing and gripping and rubbing against Walt. 

Then it happens and Walt is frozen as his eyes flash open wide and aware. He wants – he needs to move away. He’s praying Jesse won’t know. But Alejandro’s eyes narrow on his prey as he catches Walter’s reaction. His smile is feral. 

“Jesse…Jesse can you feel that?” Alejandro coos still slamming in relentlessly. “Can you feel…Walter…his want for your body.”

Walt shakes his head in disbelief. No no no. Now he can feel his shameful erection brushing against Jesse’s wiggling lower back and he must know. 

Jesse flashes his eyes up to Walt. Their eyes meet and Walt is still shaking his head with his mouth ajar.

“No Jesse… it’s not what you—“

But before he can finish Jesse’s face twists wounded. “N-nnho! Mr. White!” Jesse howls loudly throughout the house where the sound of slapping flesh continues. His jaw is tight and neck taunt. 

Even so he clings to Walt.

Walt feels utterly ashamed and confused. He’s never thought of another man like that or even Jesse for that matter. He’s always been attracted to protecting and working with him, but surely that wasn’t him wanting Jesse like this. 

Alejandro is picking up the pace, thrusting quicker, slamming harder and preparing to reach his climax. “Uh uh uh uh” is forced out of Jesse.

Jesse’s never had sex this rigorous with a girl for this long. It feels like an eternity. 

But finally, Alejandro slams in deep deep deep and fills Jesse hot and Jesse wants to be sick as his own body shakes. He can feel Walt’s frame shaking too. 

Alejandro is panting, but smiling all teeth showing, “Well, that was good.” He rolls his hips with his flaccid dick still in Jesse. Jesse groans. He is so sore and raw. 

He abruptly pulls out and stands, “Good entertainment, but its time for business again.” Jesse’s thighs fall to the floor with a wet slap. He can feel fluids leaking out of him. Then nothing.

One of the men pulls out a cloth and hands it to Alejandro to clean himself off. 

“Please…” its hardly a whisper, but enough to attract the attention.

“What was that?” Alejandro turns to the two men on the ground. The younger man looks barely conscious if at all and the other is still hunched over him.

“Uncuff me, please…I won’t do anything,” Walt’s voice is somber. Alejandro shrugs his shoulders then nods his head to uncuff the pitiful man.

When the cuffs release his hands, Walt's arms fall free numb. For a brief moment he thinks there is no way he’ll be able to move them, but then he sees Jesse and the urge to scoop him up is far greater. He wraps his arms around Jesse’s frame and pulls his face into the young man’s neck.

After a few minutes he shifts his legs out from underneath him. Also numb and tingling. Jesse stays in between his legs, lying there on Walt’s chest embraced. Walt can’t believe he could let this happen. He grips Jesse’s shirt tight wanting to pull the man tighter into him, but fearing that this would inflict more pain on his already present injures. 

Walt registers that Alejandro is once again on the phone. Sounds like Gustavo really wanted to keep his ‘investments’ and followed through. Alejandro shuts his cell with a pleasant and over satisfied face. Walt wants to skin it off. 

“Well it looks like the deal is done. Just the right amount of entertainment tonight.” He nods to his men. One moves first to open the door then the other one exits first followed by Alejandro and then the slam of the door. 

Now it’s just them. In Jesse’s living room with the echoes of the abuse. The smell, the sounds, the feelings all stained into this living room. 

He doesn’t know how long he sat there cradling Jesse, but he needed to get away from the living room. Ever so carefully, he awkwardly scoops Jesse up into his arms and walks him upstairs. 

Upstairs in the hallway he stands, debating. Does he want to take Jesse to his bed in his current state? Or to the bathroom to clean him up and potentially awake him from the only peace he can receive? Walt feels the wetness on his arm and decides for the latter.

He walks into the bathroom that is now repaired from the last time he saw it. He hates the thought of putting Jesse in that tub, but he will. Walt fills the tub with warm, but not too hot, water and gently places Jesse in with his head propped against the side. 

Walt watches the water turn from clear to slightly pink and dingy. He wonders if this is the right thing to be doing or if he should be getting Jesse to the hospital like 10 minutes ago. Jesse wouldn’t like that. He knows. Maybe when his more prepared he could make the decision. But he won’t. Walt knows.

Jesse stirs in the water finally becoming aware that his body is engulfed. His body trembles and sparks intense pain through his body. He blinks open his hazy eyes. He sets his eyes on Mr. White who is kneeling by the tub with a washcloth.

He doesn’t say anything and neither does Jesse. 

Walt moves to dip the washcloth in the water and to clean Jesse, but Jesse jolts, “Yo bitch! Don’t you fu…fuckin’…don’t touch…touch me.” Jesse breaks down sobbing into his shoulder as he grips onto the sides of the tub. He feels forever dirty and broken. 

Walt is frozen with yearning to once again embrace Jesse, but not wanting him to lash out either. He can understand why he doesn’t want anyone touching him. He can understand why he doesn’t want him touching him.

But he won’t let Jesse push him away. He won’t abandon him and he won’t let Jesse abandon himself. 

As the sobbing slowly softens, Walt decides he needs to be the one who is strong and won’t back away. He straightens up his body and face and breathes in deeply.

“Look, Jesse. I need to clean you up. You can’t stay like this…” He swallows dryly. “Its this or I take you to the hospital.” That seems to get Jesse’s attention. Definitely not the face Walt wants to see right now, but Jesse looks like a scared animal. Wanting to find an escape but trapped in a cage. 

“Don’t worry, Jess.” He doesn’t know why the nickname slips from his lips. But he tries to act like it didn’t, “I won’t do anything and I’ll be quick. Over before you know it.”

Jesse scoffs loudly now looking hardened and cold. “Yeah…”

Walt doesn’t feel good about what he’s saying anymore. All the words are wrong and inappropriate and never sounding how he wants them to. 

Gently he dips the cloth into the water and tentatively rubs the material to Jesse’s leg. Jesse doesn’t move, but his body visibly tenses. Walt makes slow circles on the flesh.

Gradually, he makes his way up to Jesse’s thighs and tries to focus on cleaning him up and not the pronounced bruises rising on his body. 

Sometimes he can sense Jesse eyeing him and other times he gets cold chills that Jesse is staring off somewhere else. Looking but not really seeing. 

It is silent except for the water and swirls from the movements. 

Jesse is tired, but his mind is filled with racing thoughts. He feels hollow with them.

“You know…” Jesse pauses for a moment eyebrows twitching with thought. “I always got the shit end of the stick. It’s always been me getting screwed.” His face twists with the context. The silence lingers for moments and just as Walt is about to answer Jesse continues again.

“Nothing good has ever happened to me and…if it did…it never lasted.” He licks his dry lips and swallows down his sore throat. “It’s like my life was suppose to be full of harsh fucked up realities beating, spitting and fucking me over. Like it had to be me. Jesse fucking Pinkman.” He lets out a shaking breath.

Walt turns to him watching every feature rolling over his face. Walt’s chest swells with what he wants to say without it coming out wrong again. He just opens himself up to be as vulnerable as Jesse is right now. “You didn’t deserve this. Any of this. I know it’s not much coming from me right now, but I know how strong and worthy you are to be who you are. I don’t know why life happens the way it does, but if I know anyone who can get through this it would be you. Jesse fucking Pinkman…I may have been your teacher, but you have taught me so much more.”

Walt hopes he didn’t flap his mouth too much. Hopes Jesse won’t cry or chew off his head. He analyzes him trying to figure out what is going on in his head.

“Yo, Mr. White. All you learned from me was how to get in the Meth business and show you that…” he mumbles the rest of the sentence looking at the tile wall instead.

“What was that?” Walt leans in wanting to desperately know.

Jesse tightens his grip on the tub gritting his teeth before turning to Mr. White and spitting, “Show you that you have a hard-on for me. That you enjoyed me getting -- raped.”

Walt is taken aback. He is completely stunned by Jesse’s venomous tone. “Jess…”

“It’s Jesse!” Jesse doesn’t know where all this wild anger is spewing from but he can’t control himself. He wants to kill or die or both. 

Moments pass. Jesse can see Walt’s hurt expression from the corner of his vision. 

The water turns colder and looks more disgusting by the minute. 

“I’m going to go to bed now,” Jesse bends his knees and struggles to find the strength to push himself up. 

“Did you wan-“ 

“No, I can do it myself.” Jesse hopes he can. 

It takes a lot longer than normal and he feels like an old geezer. But he gets himself up and takes the towel Mr. White hands him to cover up his body. Broken body.

He stands there in the water judging the height of the tub to the floor. What muscles he’s going to need to just step over the side. His body feels so stiff now. Any and all adrenaline gone and muscles seized tight. 

He glances up to see Mr. White standing there, not impatient, but being there. He bites down on his lip. 

In a slow motion he reaches his hand out to grasp onto his shoulder and makes to step out. His foot makes contact with the floor outside of the tub and his ass hurts at the position. Immediately his other hand flies up to latch onto Mr. White and bring his other leg out. 

Jesse Pinkman strong? Yeah, fucking right. Jesse bitterly berates himself. 

Once he has both feet on the ground and the stabbing pain has subsided to a throbbing he removes his grip from Mr. White. 

In the transition, the towel slipped off into the water filled tub and Jesse groans. He doesn’t care anymore. He just needs his bed. His safe haven. 

He walk-stumbles to his room attempting to prevent any movements sparking pain. He finds his bed where the covers are ruffled from before this all happened. How he lounged there thinking everything was A-Ok. 

He gently lowers himself onto the mattress but winces as his backside makes contact. Eventually, he manages to lay his entire body prone on the bed. And he sinks into its comfort. 

He barely realizes Mr. White is standing in his room looking sadder than a drenched cat. Jesse can’t comfort him right now. So he remains engulfed in his bed awaiting sweet darkness.

He faintly catches Mr. White’s words before he gets swept away into unconsciousness.

“I didn’t want that, Jesse.”


	2. How do I face You?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's going to be a long journey...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'Kay, yeah I lied. Maybe it's not a one-shot. The story kind of just stuck with me. Normally, I'm not really good at writing aftermath-recovery journeys, but for this one I am willing to give it a shot. I can't say how often I'll be updating, but I do plan on continuing as more pops into my head. Shuper short chapter, but R&R appreciated!

The rest of the night continues horribly. Jesse’s entire being is fatigued but actively plagued by the memories, the pain littered across his body. 

He restless tosses in bed. Damp with sweat and waking with sudden jolts prepared to fight or flight. Every time it takes a good half an hour to calm himself with minimal achievement.

The sun is rising now and Jesse’s eyes hang open. He watches the light filter through his curtains and he swears to himself that he won’t leave this room. Ever.

He hasn’t seen him, but he is sure Walt is floating aimlessly around his house. He can sense that much.

In Jesse’s mind it’s a constant battle over if Mr. White is to blame or not. He strongly believes he is but he can’t stifle the part that defends the manipulative man. He doesn’t know how to face him.

So he’s glad Mr. White is making himself scarce.

Jesse makes to roll up from his side but immediately halts, propped on his elbow, as waves of pain sear throughout his nerves. He hisses.

After waiting to regain a bit more composure he slowly levers up, which still hurts, but the caution helps complete the motion. Sitting up right he can now see his reflection in the mirror across the room.

He notices the plaster over his eyebrow and the bruises shadowing his features. Busted swollen lips and red puffy eyes. He flickers his gaze away. 

Never in his life did he think he would be reduced to a piece of meat. Grimly, Jesse thinks he was never anything more to begin with. He clenches the red sheets and tires hard to prevent the tears quickly filling up his eyes. Sissy tears. 

No way is this worse than Jane. The thought of her pangs his heart. He could’ve been in New Zealand with her now. Only if he had insisted they left that moment and not a moment more for their ‘last’ heroine high. 

He breathes out a shaky sigh. Stupid. How could he be so stupid? 

A loud crash breaks the silence of the house. Jesse instinctively tenses and flashes his eyes to his bedroom door.

“Mr. White?!...Mr. Whi-“ Jesse’s mind panics, his eyes dart around the entire room. He spots the closet and lurches towards it. He doesn’t stop no matter how much his body protests. Undoing any recovery that may have happened.

He can hear the heavy thud of footsteps approaching. He shoves himself in the dark, mostly vacant closet and presses into the back corner. 

They’re coming back for him. They’re going to grab him again. Not again not again.

They’re yelling now. Shouting in his room coming for him. Going to kill him. Or worse.

The closet door flies open. “No no no! Please no!” His arms shakily extend out to pathetically block his body. Trying to put a barrier between him and the figure. He’s choking back his sobs.

Their hands grip his arms securely and pull his body closer. He struggles and repeats his protests. 

“Jesse! You’re okay, Jesse!” Suddenly, Mr. White’s firm voice brings him back.

Gradually, the rapid pulsing heart in his head quiets down. He can hear the heavy mix of breath in the closet. His and Mr. White’s almost in unison.

“Mr. White…” his voice is scratchy and unfamiliar. Unconsciously, he is clinging to Mr. White’s arms affirming that he’s real. 

“I’m sorry. I was making breakfast and the pan…” He can feel Jesse gradually calming down in his arms and he gently pulls him a little bit closer – outside the closet to him.

Jesse hesitates for a minute before allowing himself to follow the tug. The rollercoaster of adrenaline takes a toll on him. Jesse is so tired of the agonizing tension holding his body together. He just wants to unravel.

As he makes his way completely outside of the closet and closer into Mr. White’s body he releases any and all restraint. He just goes lax into Mr. White’s torso. Just this once. 

Walter isn’t expecting it at first, but accommodates the additional lean. Jesse looks worn out. It reminds him when he saw him crumpled on the ground at the grimy drug-prison after Jane’s death. Full of despair. He caused that too.

God, Buddah or whoever the hell as his witness he would do Jesse right. He needed to atone for all the shit he has done to fuck with this kids life. And if Jesse wanted him gone he'd do it from afar. 

Walt is overwhelmed by how weird it feels to have Jesse so compliant in his arms. He can feel every ounce of struggle gone like he’s melting in his arms. And that thought makes him sick afraid. He doesn’t want Jesse to melt away. Even being with him this close he never felt Jesse to far away. 

He grabs onto Jesse’s black t-shirt tight and hugs onto him in efforts to solidify Jesse’s existence. Jesse doesn’t even move and that breaks his heart.

Walt’s tears softly run down his face and absorb into Jesse’s shirt.


	3. You Don't Know, but I Know.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jesse doesn't want anyone to know. He just wants to lock it up and never speak, hear, feel, or think about it ever again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a work in progress. I am hoping to keep up with writing the story. I jot down whats there and embellish it later (thank goodness for notes on the iPhone!) So I hope the characters seem representative of the show. Enjoy~

Walt sits hunched over on the couch thinking. He had managed to put Jesse back in his bed in his almost catatonic state. Jesse hadn’t moved a muscle as Walt scooped him up and wrangled him back into bed. Walt hovered around the room until he saw Jesse sink back into sleep.

This was all sorts of messed up. He would have never imagined this would happen when he first started cooking innocently enough with Jesse. He had never experienced being around a person who had been through such a traumatic event. The closest training on the topic was from his job as a teacher and knowing how to report these situations. None of it had trained him on how to be a damn therapist. 

Walt removes his glasses and rubs his thumb and index finger over his eyelids then pinches the bridge of his nose. 

Think. Think. Think.

A knock at the front door interrupts his downward spiral. He doesn’t make a move at first just simply stares cautiously as the door. At the second round of knocking he quietly makes his way over to the door. Tip toeing like a burglar. 

He peers through the glass window, but the glass distorts and metal design blocks the person behind. Even so, he can definitely identify only one figure standing there. He hesitates for a few more seconds before he cracks the door to eyeball the unknown individual. His eyes widen and the door immediately flies open. He is filled with rage.

“Mike…” he practically snarls. Venomous acid bubbles up from his stomach and throat. 

As usual, Mike remains indifferent and unphased by the other mans radiating hostility. He just analyzes him for a minute.

“Where’s Jesse?” His eyes wander beyond Walter searching. 

“Why the hell do you care?” Walt bites back. 

Mike cocks his eyebrow at the defensive remark and barges his way past Walter and through the door. Walt doesn’t stay put and instead puts all efforts into blockading the man’s path towards Jesse’s room. Walt refuses to let him see Jesse. Eventually, they come to a stand still at the stairs near the kitchen.

“Where’s Gus huh? Can’t be bothered to show his face after the shit he dragged us through?” Walt stares intensely. 

Mike heaves a sigh, “Look, Walt. Gus always will have enemies. It comes with the business.”

“Oh for Christ sakes! We shouldn’t be the ones to have to deal with the splash back! Gus should!” His voice escalates in his attack. His hands shake with anger. 

Jesse grips the handrail deathly tight as he makes his descent down the stairs. He counts the steps attempting to ignore the uncomfortable sensations the movement causes. 

Finally, as he hobbles off the last step he can now see Walt and Mike arguing as usual. Mostly it’s Mr. White. 

He slowly scans the rest of the area. It’s just the two of them.

He takes a moment to straighten up his sore body and look casual. Like he took another beating. Nothing more. 

He can tell his walk is a bit stiff, but he does his best to mask the hidden injuries underneath his baggy clothes. 

“Yo what are you bitches bitching about in my house?” Did that sound too forced? He doesn’t stop to think and instead makes his way to the kitchen to get some water for his parched throat.

He can feel their burning gazes observing him. He can image Mr. White looking incredulous and Mike watching quizzically at his every move. 

With a half full glass he stands at the top of the kitchen stairs returning their gaze. Yup. He was right about their expressions.

Jesse casually leans against the corner of the wall. 

Eventually the staring game ends with Mike first to speak towards Jesse, “Gus tried to come, but didn’t want to risk anything. I came by to see if you’re alright.”

Jesse’s throat constricts. To see if he was alright? That simple sentence of sincere endearment sparks a rush of overwhelming emotions. Bubbling in his twisted stomach. Jesse clenches his jaw willing himself to maintain. To not break. He takes a quick sip of water.

“Well,” his voice cracks a little. “Tell Gus that his investments are just fine. We can continue cooking next week.”

Walt barely waits a beat before his face alights with anger and his head jerks forward at Jesse. He can’t believe what he’s hearing. 

Jesse sees Walt’s mouth opens, like a lion ready to roar, ready to retaliate, but stops. He mouth clamps shut so tight to prevent him from exploding. Walt reads the nonverbal ‘don’t.” clearly written on Jesse’s returned gaze.

He sighs audible and roughly swipes both hands over his bald head in frustration. 

“I at least think Gus should damn well make an appearance before then!” He bitterly quips with his hands flying palm up to the sides.

“He will when things settle,” Mike reassures, but he’s not all too reassured by Jesse’s façade. 

“I ought to get going. Jesse… can I have a word?” Mike stares solely at Jesse indicating that he only wants to speak with Jesse alone. 

Jesse silently shrugs and pushes himself from the wall. His gut twists worse than a tornado as he follows Mike to the front door.

Mike opens the door and Jesse glances back once more to Walt before exiting first. Once Mike stands outside with Jesse he closes the door leaving it slightly ajar.

Jesse’s eyes bounce between his surroundings, checking the cars, seeking for any hidden people lurking around, scrutinizing every sound for signs of danger.

Mike’s hand clasps onto Jesse’s shoulder making him whip around startled. 

“Jesse. Are you sure alright? Mikes concern evident in his voice and facial expression. 

Goddam that question again. Jesse can feel his palms sweating. He wills himself to suppress the rising panic and urge to break apart. The old air stuck in his chest is choking him from the inside.

“Yeah,” his voice is strained and tight and convincing no one. “Yeah…just banged up and all.” And all…

Mike sighs not buying it, but he knows Jesse and knows…

His instincts already know. Mike wanted to be wrong. He eyes the kid sadly and nods. “I’ll make sure it won’t happen again.”

This time his hand comes down on Jesse’s shoulder like a feather. Jesse doesn’t flinch from the touch. He could trust Mike.

“Take care of yourself, kid.”

He nods back and watches Mike walk over to his vehicle. Sees him open the door, slide behind the wheel, turn the key, and drive off.

Jesse pushes the door open and fall back into the door to close it. His back firmly sags into the door. In his peripheral, Mr. White still fumes. 

“Why would you do that?” he finally remarks. 

Jesse can’t hear him. He can only feel his walls crumbling. He’s cracking as he slides down the door to the floor. Mr. White sighs, “Jesse.” And he makes his way over.

Two heavy tears dangle from Jesse’s lashes. They burn his sore, tender eyes.

Walt sits beside Jesse, wanting to touch him, but remaining in safe boundaries.

“You can’t tell him. You can’t tell them. No one…no one can know,” Jesse swallows thickly. He swivels his head to look directly at Mr. White. His red eyes glowing anticipation.

Walt’s face is dark and deep in thought. His chemist brain desperately trying to formulate a solution that would revert everything back. But after a long while he turns to face Jesse and reluctantly nods. Accepting Jesse and his request. Obviously, he couldn’t find a resolution.

Jesse’s eyes flutter to close and he let’s out an anguished sigh. The two tears drop, missing the slope of his face and landing into his shirt. 

Walt tentatively places his hand on Jesse’s shoulder. Jesse lets him and ever so slightly melts back into the comfort. 

He’s okay to break around Walt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback of all sorts encouraged~ Cheers!


End file.
